What can you do if your ex violates a visitation order?

When a former spouse refuses to comply with a court-ordered visitation arrangement, it adds more stress to the aftermath of the divorce. Sometimes they make their contempt for the arrangement—and you—crystal clear, while other efforts at sabotage are more passive-aggressive and subtle. For example:

• Routinely failing to be at the custodial exchange on time
• Scheduling activities that conflict with your custodial time
• Keeping the child overnight contrary to the court order
• Disparaging you to the child

Although in extreme cases you may have to get the courts involved, there are steps you can take to limit the opportunity for your ex to defy a formal parenting schedule.

• Eliminate vagueness from the visitation order. If you suspect that your spouse might attempt to take advantage of any vaguely worded provisions or ‘loopholes,” then ask your attorney to ensure that the wording in the custody order is as precise as possible. For example, instead of specifying that an exchange takes place in the evening, state a specific time, e.g. 7:00 p.m.
• Conduct custodial exchanges in certain locations. When you and your former spouse pick up or drop off the children in a public place, the presence of witnesses may make him or her less inclined to be late, behave aggressively, or act in other ways that frustrate the visitation. These are all parties that could speak up for you if you decide to take the matter to court later.

If problems continue to occur, then be prepared to collect credible evidence before taking further steps. If the matter ends up in court, then judges will want to see facts that are proven, not mere allegations. For example, if your former spouse is always late in bringing the children home, you can have a witness attest to the time they return or have a time-stamped video. (Note: audio recordings may present difficulties as evidence.)

Once you have this evidence, your next course of action could be one of the following:

• Petitioning to change the visitation order. If your former spouse is the custodial parent and he or she routinely interferes with your scheduled visitation, consider seeking a custody modification, especially if you are now in a position to assume more responsibility. Sometimes the suggestion that they might lose custody is enough to bring stubborn parents around. If not, it may be in the best interests of the children to seek custody.
• Pursue a contempt action. Violating a visitation order is essentially contempt of court. The judge could punish your spouse with a fine or, in extreme instances, incarceration. The latter is usually a last resort: courts prefer to handle violations by changing the court order entirely. For example, if your spouse always brings the child to school late, then overnight visits on a weeknight may be eliminated.

When your ex is violating a visitation order, you should seek legal advice as soon as possible. A Bronx family law attorney can assist you by reviewing the situation, explaining ways that the law might apply in this instance, and resolving the situation in a manner that is as positive as possible while remaining effective. Eskin & Eskin, P.C. is a family law firm for family law matters. Our attorneys have more than 40 years of combined experience. Call us at 718-402-5204 for a free family law consultation or visit www.EskinAndEskinLaw.com to learn more.