Should you date during divorce?
Many people wonder if they should date while they’re in the process of divorce. In some states (Hawaii, New Mexico, North Carolina, Mississippi, South Dakota, or Utah) this might be legally risky, as you’re technically still married and your spouse in could sue the person you’re seeing for alienation of affection. Although this law no longer exists in New York, pre-divorce dating can cause other problems you should be aware of.
Child custody
If your divorce is less than amicable and you date before the final decree is issued, then your spouse may refuse to be reasonable when custody and visitation issues are discussed. It’s also possible that the children will see the person you’re dating as a replacement for their other parent and become upset or alienated.
The latter possibility is of special concern. Although there’s nothing illegal about wanting to be in a new relationship, judges who make custody and parenting time decisions tend to frown on such behavior while the divorce is in progress. Justly or not, it could be interpreted as a lack of concern for the children’s feelings. If you move in with your new interest before the divorce is finalized, then your custody or visitation arrangement could be affected.
Child and spousal support
Once again, there’s nothing in case law stating that dating during divorce will minimize how much you receive in child or spousal support, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. If you move in with the person and consequently share expenses, then the court may use that fact to make you pay more child support (if you are the noncustodial parent) or make your ex’s support obligation lower. While this is a deviation from the levels of support set out in the state guidelines, some courts may conclude that if you are living with someone, you can afford to pay more or will actually need less. The same principle may also apply to spousal support.
Property division
If you move in with someone during the divorce, then the court could potentially take that into account when marital property is divided. When someone else is sharing living expenses with you, you are seen as being in a better financial position than if you lived alone. Due to your positive financial circumstances, more assets could end up being awarded to your spouse.
If you are thinking about pursuing a relationship, then it is strongly recommended that you talk to a New York divorce attorney first. Your dating may not have a lot of bearing on the case since New York is a no-fault state, and if you have been separated from your spouse for a long time, then both your kids and the judge may be more accepting of the relationship. All the same, your attorney’s advice can help ensure that any move you make to establish a post-divorce life does not harm your chances of a good one. The attorneys of Eskin & Eskin, P.C., a family law firm for family law matters, have more than 40 years of combined experience. If you are considering divorce, then set up a free consultation at their conveniently-located Bronx office. Call 718-402-5204 to learn more or visit www.EskinAndEskinLaw.com.
